i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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