I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
