i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
