NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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