We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
