And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
