I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
