Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
