So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am midnight drunk by noon
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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