"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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