when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
