either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
