what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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