so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
