Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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