it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
