Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
there is glitter all over my balls
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