He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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