i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
