omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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