Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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