Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
