id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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