He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
