Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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