it wasn't lemon gatorade
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
