my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
