We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I heard we made out
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
