My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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