he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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