You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
