So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
