Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
