i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
