No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
