If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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