I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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