i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize