Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
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You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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