shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize