Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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