morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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