Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
