At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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