You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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