Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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