sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
