why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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