can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
