im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
