I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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