i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
