I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
