you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My feet surprised me
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