Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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