Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
only if we run a train.
done.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
