she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
