the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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