Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
