Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm passing your future prison.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
