She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
