i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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