Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
