sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love having hate sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
